This week we got 20 1/2 hours. I’m sending out this email before the week is quite done because I leave tonight to start driving to MA (just with Amy and my mom meets us there to care for Amy) for the next Son-Rise training session. I am spreading the drive over two days because being in the car is not Amy’s favorite past-time.
What a difference a week makes. What a difference it makes to have Carl at home. What a difference so many little factors can make.
We had M. here for an Outreach Thurs/Fri, which was as amazingly helpful as always.
Highlights from the week include last weekend when Amy was napping and Carl and I needed to figure out the plan for the afternoon, as we so often do on weekends. This time we asked Sarah to join us in our meeting and “Team-member Sarah” (as I called her) sat on a step stool with us, bursting with exuberance. It was so adorable!
When Sy. asked Sarah what silly faces she could make while they were looking in the mirror, Sarah stuck out her tongue. I didn’t know she knew the idea of making silly faces like that. Sometimes when I have directly encouraged her to stick out her tongue she hasn’t, so this is doubly encouraging. Sarah also attended to Twister more than she has in the past and when she asked Sy. for something she would attempt to say her name first. That is relatively new to address someone by name as part of a request.
Last Sunday we had friends over who hadn’t seen Sarah in a while and E. noticed a big difference in the amount of eye contact from Sarah and in Sarah’s language.
M. noticed an improvement in Sarah’s clarity of language and in her flexibility and willingness to attend to new games. She also thinks Sarah is ready for more imagination play, suggesting that those of us who work with her “be the play we want to see.” The thing I notice every time M. works with Sarah is that Megan fully trusts that Sarah is capable of big play, of silly play, of normal play. The same way that I endeavor not to dumb-down my language, M. doesn’t dumb down her play. I don’t think I do either but I think M. ups her play to a level to which all of us can aspire. It is always beautiful to watch.
It is also wonderful in general how much Sarah loves her volunteers and talks about wanting them to come in. She brightens when they arrive and often scampers off to the playroom, if she isn’t already there waiting for them. Yesterday I hadn’t told her ahead of time that G. was coming and the morning was different from her normal Friday morning. When G. knocked on the playroom door and came in Sarah was clearly thrilled, as if receiving an unexpected present.
Last week when G. was here he noticed that when Sarah is upset her words come quickly and pretty clearly, which is not the case with all kids with speech challenges.
Another reason this week has been different is that I received a craniosacral/reiki session from my friend K. that was profoundly helpful. I am still realigning and adjusting to some new beliefs that I feel more ready for now. Mainly I think I am ready to believe that nothing is wrong with Sarah. Yes she is different, unique, and needs extra help. But, perhaps nothing is wrong with that. If nothing is, and never was, wrong then maybe I can let go of my urgency to fix it. If I let go of the urgency I can actually have more space to be with Sarah where she is and ultimately help her grow and flourish more. Then I started worrying “why are we doing sonrise if there is nothing wrong?” Carl reminded me that we are doing Sarah-Rise not to fix Sarah but because it is the best way to support our child. These new beliefs are things I have to consciously choose and re-choose but I feel good when I do so so I will remind myself whenever I can that this is how I want to be thinking.
After getting feedback from M. about my playtime with Sarah, I went back in the next day and had one of the best sessions I’ve had in a while. M. reminded me that I can lovingly keep after Sarah for an answer if I ask her something. (If there are times I wish she would shut her trap, why would I ever think she is incapable of answering me?) She also suggested bringing in something new when I enter the room. I brought in some pages to color that had pictures of Donald and Elmo. I modeled coloring and invited her to color, asking her to pick which color from some choices I provided. As she moved to other things, such as pretending to be a lump in a bed, I was able to connect to Elmo being a lump or needing his fur colored so he could be a lump. When she asked for Mr. Potato Head I said first we had to give Elmo fur because otherwise he was naked too (she loves having Mr. Potato Head be naked). I know we have been over the idea of having a theme and intention in the past and I teach it to my volunteers, but somehow it had not been salient for me recently. This was a great reminder of how a theme can help me drive the session more while still incorporating every single thing Sarah says or does. We had a blast.
Sarah has never really been into Halloween, but she does love wearing my clothes, Carl’s clothes, and Amy’s clothes. Last week I mused that if only Sarah had suspenders she could wear my jean shorts without them falling off. Sy. made it happen.
Bears (the original Son-Rise dad) has said, “you can’t stop a sunrise.” I hear that as: You can’t stop a Son-Rise.
You can’t stop this Sarah-Rise.
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