This week we got 30 hours! Woohoo! Goal met!!!
On Tuesday Sonia and I attended a CPR/AED/First -Aid class. Some aspects of such classes can sometimes seem dull, rote, and repetitive. Not so much when I implemented my Sarah-Rise skills. I decided I could really enjoy the repetitive CPR practice and just being where I was in general. The part where we all repeat “are you ok? are you ok? so-and-so, call 911” was bland. When we got to the AED practice I decided to be more myself and how I thought I would actually be in such a situation, allowing more pretend adrenaline and “oh my goodness, please work, please work!” into my turn. The instructor thought it was fun and I had more fun too. And frankly, I’ll probably remember it better. So my intention is to remember this in two years when I take such a class again (for my massage license) and to have it in the beginning with the CPR practice.
Tuesday had more opportunities for growth and learning as well. After the class I was on my own with the girls for about 5 hours. I know that I used to have this scenario all the time, but either I have lost my skills or I quickly forget how hard it used to be. We went to the coop. This was not my best idea or my best parenting moment. Sarah tried running off down the beloved off-limits employee-only hall. She didn’t want to be shopping. She wanted to be done. I wanted to be done. I was gruff and grumpy and rough and unhappy. I give thanks to the woman who kindly commented on Sarah loving the doors and how she was adorable. Note to all those who may observe parents being mean in grocery stores: those parents are probably feeling tight and miserable inside and giving some genuine praise/kindness to them or their children might help them shift the tightness at least a tiny bit. I used to be so judgmental of such mean parents, glaring at them as if they should know better. Oh, how times have changed. I have learned so very much through Son-Rise and yet I still certainly have the places where I am not loving or encouraging (of Sarah or myself). At least now those moments are much shorter in length. And this whole experience helped really bring into focus what a huge change it is having Sonia around. While we might not always reach my SR time goals, the overall quality of my life and that of the girls is so much calmer. I think having Sonia around helps us implement an SR lifestyle much much more often.
Sarah is getting much more capable and independent in ways that are exciting and newly challenging. This week I had to set the child lock on her car door because when she is buckled in she can still unlock and open her door. I don’t know if she would do so while we were in motion, but I don’t want to find out. I also discovered she could reach the mantel in the family room, which I thought was safe. My best guess is that she stood on the boat rocker toy to reach the dvds that were on the mantel. So now the family room has been rearranged so there is no longer anything she could stand on near the mantel.
We are almost out of ice cream in the house and I’m not buying more. This is the first phasing-out to get ready for GAPS (the lactose-free, grain-free, refined-sugar-free diet we will be implementing in January). I expect there could be a lot of screaming on Sarah’s part and I feel for her because if I were to not have chocolate around I would have a hard time too. I intend to eventually go off chocolate myself out of solidarity and as I do GAPS, but I think having only one super grumpy party at a time makes sense for right now. I think I noticed more of a correlation between S eating ice cream and then wanting to nap or having more excited hand and jaw movements. I’m not sure about the correlation so it will be interesting to see how things are when there is no ice cream.
On Wednesday I did a 3 hour SR session. I’ve never done such a long one before and I think it went surprisingly well. I was worried that I would lose my oomph but I didn’t. It was actually an amazing session. I think we had about an hour or 90 min of almost continuous interaction with extremely minimal isming. We started with a book that involves her pressing dots and my making beeping noises. She loves this. The book also has other instructions such as to shake it or tap 5 times on a dot. She did both, including counting to 5 (with some prompts to keep going). Then we had 3 games in a row where I felt like I was surprised by her level of participation, imagination, and attention. We were drawing on the white board (starting with dots to beep) and somehow I drew an umbrella (not sure whose idea it was). She then instructed that it was striped so I added stripes. I drew clouds. She said “daw wain” (draw rain). We both drew rain. I drew a stick figure with a smiley face. She spontaneously, excitedly looked at it and waved and said “hi.” I asked her who it was and she said “mom.” I asked her to add hair and she did. We then practiced drawing smiled faces in general (right now she is sort of like a young Picasso in terms of where body parts go and her noses are gigantic, which may be how they seem to her in real life and why she likes them so much). Then she asked for sunglasses so I brought them out along with the dress-up bin. As she played with the sunglasses I started putting on necklaces and scarves, saying we were dressing up to go to a party. I helped her into my jean shorts with suspenders, a scarf, and an old pair of my heels. As we got up to walk to the party I inwardly thought “crap! what now? I didn’t expect this to work!” As I invited her to dance at the party she said “no dancin(g).” I started singing. She said there was no singing. I got out a small dry-erase board and started writing down her party exemptions: no dancing, no singing, no drinking (except water), no eating (except “some cake”), no tickling, no kissing, no hugging, and no tapping. I’m guessing I then suggested there could be tea at the party and I brought out the Tea Party game (with cardboard pictures). In the past she would ism a lot with the table cloth. This time she only ismed for maybe a minute, twice. We took turns with the spinner and she was attentive to the pieces I gave her. She watched me pretend to drink tea. When she got a tea cup, she pretended to drink tea. Then, after observing me, she pretended to add milk and sugar. This was all so amazing!! The second 90 min had more frogging and isming, which I think makes sense given how much she had stretched herself in the first half of our time. An hour after my session, S. came for her 2 hour session and said Sarah was more talkative than ever before. So Wednesday was quite the day.
On Thursday I told Sarah we were going to see J. (her nutritionist). She said something I didn’t understand ending in “tooti.” I finally figured out that she was trying to say “Children’s Institute,” which is where J. works. We haven’t been there in 4 months and I probably haven’t said anything about it in as long. As we drove, we went past my office and Sarah said her best version of “see Kathy go office” because when Kathy has seen Sarah for Anat Baniel Method lessons they have been at my office. The last time that happened was in July! Sarah has such a memory and is so observant as we drive. Tonight on our way home from the holiday party at Carl’s work, we passed Target and Sarah said “go Tar-get today.” (The party was as expected with Sarah mainly wanting to jump in the big inflatable castle jumping thingie and she did lots of excited jaw movements. Only eating 1 1/2 cookies and nothing else. Wanting to play on stairs. I felt more at ease because I am finally fully owning our situation and accepting Sarah and not trying to pretend or hoping people won’t notice that she is different. Yup, she is different and awesome and I am happy with our Sarah-Rise program that I want to share with anyone who wants to know about it).
This morning as Carl prompted Sarah to go down the hall to her room to get dressed she replied, “do not run off down co-op hall.” Perfectly clearly. Seven words!
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