This past week we got 26 hours. Not bad for a week with Carl gone, Sarah sick for most of one of our usually big days, daycare experiment on Monday, dentist on Tuesday, and gymnastics on Thursday.
I took Sarah to daycare and stayed to observe so I could be more informed as I make the decision about schooling for next year. It was quite helpful to have a consultation with M. later that day. M. helped me realize that I can use all of these experiences to help me decide what to have as a focus in the Sarah-Rise room. At daycare, Sarah mainly played by herself, but so did most of the kids there. She ismed (exclusive, repetitive actions/play) a bunch with a toy stroller and one of the toy cars that is big enough to occupy. Every few minutes, though, she would pause and calmly look around. She interacted with me a couple of times and once with one of the other adults. When they had a music “circle” (around an iphone playing a video of songs), Sarah did join the group of her own accord after a few minutes. There was a cluster of kids close to the screen and my own two sitting on the step a few feet away! I admit I was a bit disappointed that the daycare was using electronics. I think the kids actually would have responded with more physical participation if the adults had been leading the singing. I also realize that I view things differently now after doing Sarah-Rise for so long. In the past I might not have noticed a lack of physical participation.
When I watched a short video recently about people with autism learning to communicate in various ways, I could see that the therapists, while well-meaning, didn’t give the kids enough time to respond. In one case they asked a child to say a word and then paused for maybe one second before moving on. They also tried to re-engage the child when the child clearly wasn’t ready. In the past I wouldn’t have noticed the lack of a longer pause or even known to wait for readiness. Now I see it.
Sarah handled the daycare snack time amazingly well, given her restrictions. She ate her yogurt and zucchini chips and water while everyone else had animal crackers, ritz, and juice. Sarah did try to take the other things but she only cried for a minute once when I told her she couldn’t have something (I always explain why). I was glad I was there to run intervention because she has a speedy hand.
On Tuesday Sarah went to the dentist. In the waiting room there was a teenage boy and Sarah sat next to him. She looked at his face often and told me that she was sitting next to a person. I coached her that she could introduce herself. She didn’t, but I felt like she was really connected even in her excitement (he was wearing jeans after all!). He also seemed to understand some of what she said. Sarah resisted when the hygienist brushed her teeth but she was mostly still while the dentist scraped her teeth for her first official cleaning. I was very impressed. She is now more calmly allowing me to assist with her brushing at night. I hadn’t been because she screamed and because I wanted to foster her independence. The dentist impressed upon me how important it is for me to help. In the past Sarah hated it when I would try to floss her teeth. Now she likes it, reaches for the flossers, and finds the word “floss” funny (she says it more like “foss”).
Gymnastics class was another informative experience. There was construction going on between the gymnastics room and the adjacent climbing wall so that was loud, dusty, and distracting. Sarah did pretty well following my instructions, which were the teacher’s instructions. When the teacher was taking attendance I encouraged Sarah to say her name. She very quietly said “name.” It was adorable seeing her tiny foot touch something blue, as per instruction and encouragement. She seemed anxious and stressed when the group was stretching and jumping, to the point where I considered just leaving early. Once she was allowed on the equipment she had a great time and was fine waiting her turn. She loves the balance beam and let go of my hand purposefully, using my support only intermittently. I think this will be good practice for being in a slightly structured class and it will help her with balance and different ways of moving her body. When I enrolled her in a shorter version of this class a couple of years ago I remember feeling stressed and uncomfortable, as I so often did when we were around typical kids and I felt embarrassed, so glaringly aware of her differences. Now I am aware that she is not typical and I am so proud of her. I am much more comfortable in my own skin. I don’t care as much what others think. Maybe because I am proud of what we are doing to help her.
On Friday when I went in at the end of Sarah’s time with Sc, Sarah looked up at me and calmly said “good-bye, mom.” Best rejection ever! We have been working on greetings and farewells and for her to use one so sort-of appropriately and with eye contact is beautiful. And it is the best indicator of how much she loves her volunteers.
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