A good problem to have is…
Sarah not getting around to brushing her teeth because she is busy talking about how the sink is empty, pronouncing each word perfectly.
Sarah delaying brushing her teeth because she is busy pretending that the toothbrush is a melting popsicle.
Sarah getting up from breakfast because she must put pretend lemon juice on Carl’s food (she loves people making sour faces)
Sarah helping herself to food from the freezer, fridge, and counter
Sarah wanting to help with almost everything I do in the kitchen (and being in the way and underfoot)
Sarah not wanting me to do the music movement while she does it (she is doing it!!)
Needing to spot Sarah and Amy on the trampoline because they like hanging and swinging from the bar
Not knowing what to do with myself when Sarah barely needs my help at preschool
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I’ve been thinking a lot lately about these good problems and remembering that any difficulty now is one I probably would have paid to have when Sarah was less able.
I’ve been thinking about how different flowers benefit from different kids of care and we don’t fault them for it. What if we extended the same understanding to care for different kinds of people without thinking that different needs meant anything was amiss?
This thinking was largely in response to my 2 visits to preschool this week. On Tuesday Sarah was impressively focused, responsive, and attentive. I did basically nothing and the teachers did almost all the redirecting or encouraging needed. When we left I was considering talking to the teachers about Sarah being there on her own. And then there was Thursday. On Thursday, Sarah seemed much less focused and attentive and needed lots more redirection. She did much more exclusive play. I joined her a couple of times thinking that might help her reconnect in general. Instead, while we were building with some tiles and having a semi-interactive time, she somehow pinched her finger in a way that I didn’t see and was very upset for many minutes. Since she had been asking to go home before this happened and asked again after, and since it didn’t seem like a stellar day anyway, I decided to take us all home early. This had the side benefit that we weren’t out in the torrential thunderstorm that started when we otherwise would have been leaving preschool/daycare.
I think this preschool is the absolute best place for Sarah at this moment for her school muscles to get going. And I think it is a challenge for her and that going two days a week is her limit and perhaps even over the limit sometimes. I’ll see what this next week brings. Noticing how she doesn’t do the music movements if I do them and sometimes stops if Amy does them, I can see why in school she doesn’t always participate in things. Sometimes she does and it is amazing and other times I think it is just too much to do anything other than pay attention to whatever fascinating thing another person is doing. The exciting thing with seeing this is that I realize her abilities in many areas may be stronger than we think; it is up to us to design the right environment to bring those abilities forth. And once her muscles and abilities get stronger in these different areas then she can participate more and more. Being at home and one-on-one most of the time will help her muscles and abilities get stronger, as has already been happening.
Sarah’s greetings and farewells are really getting good. When L. arrived, Sarah spontaneously said “hell-o” and today she said “bye” to some friends at the appropriate moment all of her own accord.
Puzzles remain a huge challenge for Sarah. Watching Amy sort them out so quickly is a miracle (for me). I very much appreciate G.’s work with Sarah yesterday when she was playing with a puzzle. He let her be. He let her fiddle with it and make mistakes and put things together wrong. That is something I don’t really do because I have been so concerned with teaching her to “get it.” I am reminded by G.’s time that perhaps the best thing I can do to help her get it is to get out of the way and give her time.
There seems to be a lot recently about my helping most by getting out of the way. Yes. And… first I set the groundwork, the goals, the modeling, the environment, and then I can get out of the way. Knowing when to get out of the way and when to interact is perhaps the whole ball game.
A few nights ago as Sarah finished her bath, I looked over and realized it was yet another time to let her be. I could see those cognitive wheels turning as she stacked and unstacked cups by size, noticing and correcting all on her own.
Wednesday we went on a field trip to the zoo (with the lovely C. as our assistant). It went super well. We were there for 2 hours and we took at least 4 snack breaks. Sarah was interested in the animals (as was Amy, but that is more of a given). In the evening when Carl was talking to the girls he asked what they saw and Sarah gave a few answers! When things like this happen it is easy to take them for granted, but they are really noteworthy and amazing.
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