Thinking about William has helped me focus more on choosing love. In practice this has meant that in many small moments when normally I would get mad or tight, I have been softening. I have had some grumpy moments, but they have been smaller. What I really celebrate are the small moments in which I did things differently than my initial impulse would have me do. A week ago when I really yelled at the kids I spent a lot of time thinking about why I yelled. I was able to accept myself in a more loving way than usual and that gave me room to reflect more fully. The main thing I learned was that I yelled because I wanted the yelling/whining/behavior to stop, but that when I yell that actually prolongs things and that if my goal is to shorten the sound or behavior then softening and coming closer with kindness will yield faster results.
On Wednesday I did some SR time in the room and it was wonderful. As you know, I don’t do that very often anymore. What I appreciated this time was the awareness that there can be an indirect magic to the room. We didn’t work on many specific skills, but we had fun together and that helps our overall connection. That night I was singing the songs to Blue Moo by Sandra Boynton and Amy started singing with me and then Sarah did too! Wow!!! I don’t know if that was because of the time in the room. It might have happened anyway. Maybe this is just two wonderful things.
The girls sang happy birthday a couple of times this week and Sarah’s singing was the best, most fluid I have ever heard her do. It was almost as fluid and focused as Amy’s singing. I say that so the comparison can give you a sense of Sarah’s fluidity.
Thursday evening, Sonia and the girls danced around to songs with movements while cleaning the family room together. For an hour!
Yesterday, Carl was outside with the girls and one of our neighbors was outside too. Sarah went up to her and said “say hi to ___” (the name of the neighbor’s son). So the neighbor invited all of them to come in to her house and find her son.
A little bit later when Carl and the girls were outside again, Sarah said she wanted to climb onto the hood of Carl’s car. He said no and then turned his attention to Amy. A minute later Sarah was on top of the hood. When Sarah climbed down Amy tried to climb up but couldn’t do it. She said, “Sarah” and Sarah started helping Amy climb. They were informed this was the first and last time this activity would happen, but it was an awesome and hilarious moment.
Yesterday evening Carl and the girls all played Candyland together. All the way through. For real. Sarah needed some prompting to go when it was her turn and in what direction to move, but it was just verbal help. Wow!
Sarah’s hands are still a bit dry and scaly but I decided to move forward with new foods because this does seem like a different beast than a food allergy. I spoke with a friend who has the same eczema as Sarah and got lots of ideas of what soaps and shampoos might be the least irritating. I am also thinking we need to reduce Sarah’s handling of wipes.
Eggs! We tried eggs. The naturopath had recommended a certain way of reintroducing foods where we give Sarah the new food 2 or 3 times on day 1 and then take 48 hours off without the new food, paying attention for any changes in Sarah. Friday afternoon she had scrambled eggs and Friday evening she had cupcakes made with eggs. After the scrambled eggs I explained that she should tell me if she felt sick or anything. After about half an hour, Sarah said, “Mom, I am feeling sick.” She was watching a show with Amy and was reclining on the sofa. I asked if she thought she was going to throw up and she said yes. After a little bit if time I reminded her that if she was truly sick then we wouldn’t be doing the cupcakes made with eggs but that she could have something different. A few minutes later she was up and about as her usual self. She may have felt sick or that may have been a fabrication. When she told me she felt sick, her sentence was a little too perfect. I think that next time we do a new food I shouldn’t tell her to tell me anything. Sarah does have a renewed itchy area on both sides of her right wrist. I don’t know if this is from the egg or not, given our previous experience and her general skin sensitivity. So I think we can give eggs a big maybe.
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