Thanks to the help of sitters hanging out with the girls at home, on Monday I drove to the Poconos to see my two best friends that I’ve had since I was 4. These friends are sisters to each other. I remember when I met them I thought, “oh finally, these are the friends I’ve been waiting for.” Up until meeting them I certainly had friends, but not best friends. It was wonderful to see them and we laughed a lot, as usual. We took a Zumba class and a Pilates class that focused on legs. The latter made us wobbly on the stairs and we laughed till it hurt. I think my muscles have finally recovered. The drive home Tuesday afternoon was unfortunately one of the most stressful drives I’ve ever had. It was rainy, foggy, and misty so there were times when visibility was awful, but I had to keep going because it clearly wasn’t going to blow over quickly. I did make it home safely and I look forward to making similar trips in the future, trusting that the weather was an anomaly.
Wednesday morning was not my finest parenting moment. We needed to get the house clean (as in: putting crap away) and Sarah was not wanting to help. Sometimes the girls are great helpers and sometimes they aren’t. Sometimes I handle their lack of help gracefully and sometimes I don’t. This time I didn’t. I yelled a lot. I did my equivalent of whining. We were able to reset later and had a pretty good day overall. We got groceries. We walked to the Square Cafe for lunch. I took the girls to the pool. I talked to my mom. Somehow, amazingly, my mom always has kindness and love for me even when I am at a low point. I think I need to substitute her voice and the voice of the girls’ piano teacher for my own internal voice. Both seem endlessly patient and kind.
Friday and Saturday nights we went camping in our backyard, complete with a campfire, s’mores, and our tent.
Sarah and I had some nice snuggly moments when she was pretending to be baby Sarah. I invited her to do this while I apologized for yelling at her regarding roasted-marshmallow-removal safety protocol. I explained that I get scared about her getting hurt, and that I am aware that yelling isn’t a great way to show love, but my fear about her safety does originate with my love for her and my desire to protect her at all costs.
Amy moved up a level in swimming! She is now a Shark 1. Sarah has been a Minnow for almost a year and I don’t see that changing anytime soon because she is still scared of floating completely on her own, and she is scared to jump in without holding a hand. When it was her turn to jump, I called out some encouragement to her. Amy did too. Soon the other parents and the lifeguard were also cheering for her. Eventually she jumped in holding her teacher’s hand. It still felt great to have so many people rooting for her. That’s really how her life has felt overall. There are so many people rooting for her and believing in her. I truly believe that eventually she will jump in and float independently. It just may take a few more months or years to get there.
Amy found out what classroom she will be in for second grade. When she learned that one of her best friends will be in the same class she was so excited that she ran around the whole house yelling and whooping.
Last night Amy sang a song with a bubble container as her microphone. Sarah drummed a beat on our elephant watering can and participated in the song when Amy would ask questions as part of the lyrics (such as: “what camp do you go to?”). It was an amazing little moment. I know I can’t stand it when the girls fight as often as they do, but I also truly marvel at how perfect Amy is for helping Sarah learn and grow. Amy’s creativity is seemingly endless. She is always playing and inviting Sarah to play (or yelling at her not to). Probably Sarah is perfect for Amy too because she doesn’t let herself get bossed around, which I guess is the positive spin for how she so often doesn’t listen.
I made really good popcorn. I added a splash of maple syrup to the olive oil in the pan with the kernels. It ended up tasting a little like kettle corn. We snarfed it all.
I feel like most of my updates could be summarized as “I wasn’t always the parent I wanted to be, but we had good times, and sometimes the girls are amazing.” So there you have it.
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