The remainder of our time in Florida was wonderful. Basking in the sun while eating at an outdoor restaurant at the edge of the beach, I was the most relaxed I can remember feeling in ages. Then one day we saw a dolphin swimming right near where we were sitting! It was amazing. I’ve never been so close to one that wasn’t in captivity. We felt extra lucky to have seen it given that our dolphin-watching boat trip didn’t yield much. Carl saw some dolphins at a far distance. Amy and I didn’t see them and were disappointed. Sarah didn’t see them but I don’t think she minded.
As we drove to the airport in Orlando we realized that our flight had been moved earlier, and we would miss our flight. If we had looked more carefully when checking in the night before we could have caught that detail. But we didn’t. We are used to airlines making a big deal on email or text if a time is changed. Luckily Carl was able to get us on the 4pm flight the same day so our plans weren’t too disrupted. It still took a long time after we landed before we had our luggage and rental car in Philly. Sarah’s belly was a bit unhappy after the flight. So was mine and so was Amy’s, but to a smaller degree, maybe from a bit of turbulence. Once we were on our way to Grammy and Granddad’s everyone was ok.
Grammy gave us COVID tests and a dinner we could eat in the car while waiting for the test results. The food was good and the results were all negative so we happily went inside to begin our visit. Sarah eagerly awoke the next day, again announcing, “it’s Christmas!” After breakfast and watching her show we were about to open presents when Sarah suddenly didn’t feel well. Crap!! That was not how I wanted things to go. After some resting and Advil she seemed ok enough that we did presents. The next day dawned and she seemed well until mid-morning when she again complained about feeling sick. It seemed legitimate because what could there be to get out of when on vacation? When we encouraged her to hang out with us she cried and cried. I was inwardly freaking out, wondering if she did need to see a doctor. She said her head hurt and she felt woozy and her ears hurt and her throat hurt. I couldn’t tell what was real and what was her usual list of ailments. I wondered if she just couldn’t find the words to describe what she was feeling.
One of the presents I got Sarah for Christmas was a Goodnight Moon toy made of a green background and moveable pieces, such as the moon and the red balloon, from the book that can stick on the background with velcro. It also came with a puppet of the bunny in blue and white pajamas. As I headed upstairs to cuddle a crying Sarah, I grabbed the puppet. Puppets are surprisingly effective at evoking a different feeling of communication even when you know that it is a person making the puppet move. I think I will use the puppet more often in the future.
Through the bunny puppet, I asked Sarah to tell me more. As she talked about not feeling well she also asked if I could tell her teacher and bus driver that she wouldn’t be in school next week. The bunny asked what about school she wasn’t wanting. She said something about nickels. The bunny said she could ask for a change to the nickel system if that would help. Instantly Sarah’s whole demeanor changed as if a switch had been turned. She became sparkly and empowered and never mentioned feeling sick in any way after that moment. This was astonishing. Remember nickel feelings? I think she was dealing with those on a monumental scale.
I wrote to her teacher to explain what had been happening with Sarah’s health and the shift in her at the thought of being free from the nickel system. Her teacher called me soon after receiving my email. She and I think that maybe the assistants were taking nickels away more quickly than the main teacher did, with fewer warnings, not knowing what a huge emotional impact it would have. Sarah’s teacher is happy to talk with Sarah about a different system. Sarah has been practicing saying variations of “Mrs….. can we change my nickel system, please?” She is clear, not whining, and makes solid eye contact. She is empowered.
The rest of our trip went smoothly with a wonderful time at Grammy and Granddad’s house, especially after Sarah’s empowered wellness turn around. Then we had a wonderful time at Mom-Mom and Pop-Pop’s house, with many Conversations (aka play sessions). Mom-Mom said Sarah was more fluid and verbal than ever during one play session. Sarah evidently was a bus driver evading many obstacles and at one point saying, “people! What are you doing, people?!” I know she is quoting me so I’m glad my language is tame as I drive even when I’m expressing annoyance. Pop-Pop had a conversation with Sarah while sitting on the porch. That moment came after she had been wanting to play on their treadmill in a way we didn’t want her to play. We reminded her that to show she was ready to not have a nickel chart it would help if she easily listened and said “ok.” That took a few reminders and explanations but it did work. It also seemed like Sarah was relieved to go hang out with Pop-Pop.
Another tiny new thing is that Sarah asked Amy to braid her hair. So Sarah has been sporting two braids for many days. I love her new look.
May you have magical dolphin moments and be free from any nagging nickel feelings of doom.
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