Last weekend as we finished our camping trip, we had one more afternoon at the beach. It was wet and rainy and not all that warm, but we still had a good time. Amy, with some help from Carl, made herself a mermaid tail out of sand. Sarah wandered over to a park sign and spent a long time looking at it. When she came back, Carl asked her what it was about and she replied, “Eagles.” We didn’t get any further intel, but that still seemed like a notably cool moment. Meanwhile, on one of the nights camping, Amy and I went on a loooong walk to get from our campsite to the amphitheater (signs for it aren’t great), made it after shoving our way through some woods where there wasn’t actually a path, and learned about raccoons. Then we went on a very long walk back to our tent, narrowly avoiding a dead frog in the road that we didn’t see until our feet were nearly upon it. I commented that I have a weird knack for seeing dead animals. Amy inquired about the back story and when I described how in one of the first walks I ever took with Carl I spotted at least one dead animal in the woods, Amy said, “Is it safe for me to be with you!?” And we both laughed.
We went out to lunch on our drive home from camping, but unfortunately the apple juice Sarah quickly downed upon our arrival the restaurant seemed to trigger her acid reflux/phlegm/feeling crappy. So she barely ate any lunch and it took a few hours before she was feeling better. We learned our lesson. No more apple juice for a while, or at least not ingested so rapidly. I had also realized that I was mistakenly only giving Sarah a half dose of Prilosec so starting the next day I increased it to what was prescribed. When we got home from camping, almost everything had to be spread out to dry, mostly inside our house because it was still rainy outside. So the family room didn’t have the clearest floor to begin with when Sarah woke up Tuesday morning determined to find a book about a little green frog.
I have no idea if the book she had in mind is even a book at all. I certainly don’t believe we ever owned it. I do remember her nutritionist singing a song that Sarah was remembering in conjunction with the book, “Mmm -eh went the little green frog one day, Mmm eh went the little green frog, Mmm eh went the little green frog one day, mmm-eh, mmm-eh, mmm-eh.” When you say the “eh” part you stick out your tongue like a frog. Do any of you know of such a book? Sarah also says there is a frog who comes to tea. In her diligent, determined search for this book Sarah took almost all of the books off the shelves in the family room and spread them across the floor. So the floor was covered with camping gear and a layer of books. It was impossible to walk through, but that didn’t stop the cat or kids from doing so, despite the fact that our downstairs has a circle so you really can avoid that room and still go anywhere else you need to go.
When Gregory arrived for his session with Sarah, the frog book was still at the forefront of her mind. He wrote:
“Sarah picked up a random book and said, “Let’s pretend this is The Little Green Frog.” I was certainly in.
She began, “How many frogs came for tea?” And we counted.
But then, she shifted. “How many frogs HAVE COME for tea?” She shifted that verb tense and I shifted with her. I took on a fancy/British accent, “OH! One frog HAS come for tea. And…TWO frogs HAVE come for tea.” just infusing the irregularity of the verb form she chose and continued to explore. THEN…she shifted again, “The first frog is coming for tea,” and so we shifted to ordinals. Second, third, fourth, etc.
It’s like she was feeding me therapy points that I could use to expand, explore, or just imitate since she was driving the car.
Very wonderful stuff.”
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I ordered two books about little green frogs and we searched the library as well. Still to no avail. Luckily Sarah’s desperation for the book has calmed.
What has not calmed is whatever is going on for her body. I do think the Prilosec is helping in terms of whatever phlegmy stuff she was feeling, but either that or increasing the Miralax did us no favors on Friday. Friday morning I had to pick Sarah up from school because she wasn’t feeling well and in a voluminous output sort of way. Once she came home she actually seemed fine, so I don’t know if it was a bug or just too much Miralax. We took a short break from it but can’t stop forever. Yesterday when she woke up the first thing she said to me as I handed her the Prilosec was, “My cheek feels funny.” Um… I couldn’t see anything except maybe it was slightly swollen. I couldn’t feel anything except maybe she had bitten it by accident (but when? If it was in her sleep that is extra disturbing). We wondered about a canker sore or pimple. She seemed mostly fine as the day went on, but around 4:30 was really complaining about her cheek hurting. Her lower right lip was swollen and she was asking to go to the doctor. I decided to take her to Express Care at the Children’s Hospital, which is the after-hours pediatrician type place. Except that I forgot it had moved to a different location entirely. So after we drove 20 minutes, parked, and were confused as to why it wasn’t on the directory, then I saw a sign explaining the new location. Argh! At this point, Sarah, who seemed in good spirits and wasn’t complaining of pain anymore despite the swelling, wanted to go home and have dinner instead of going to the new location of Express care. So that is what we did. Her cheek and lip seem a bit better this morning, although not fully.
She has also had extra intense screamy episodes three days in a row, with Friday afternoon being the most dramatic regarding a missing ring and me trying to leave for work. It was not a proud parenting moment, especially as we had a carpenter here putting in our new front door, witnessing our escalating frustrations with each other. Carl took over with Sarah and I did go to work, feeling like a hypocrite for yelling at Sarah and being all upset and then going to help someone else relax and feel better! At work I realized that Sarah’s ring had probably fallen out in her treat bag. (It had!) We really need to get rings that fit her better. She is passionate about wearing her pinky rings even though both are too big and the ring adjusters I got fell off. Anyway, with shorter screamy times seemingly out of the blue happening yesterday and today, Carl and I are wondering if somehow the Prilosec is making her more irritable. Or could it be the Allegra? Those are the things we have changed. I will call the doctor tomorrow to discuss matters.
The good thing about Sarah coming home early on Friday was that she was watching her show and having lunch on the sofa when a bird flew into the house. Because of getting the new door, that means our house is wide open for hours at a time. I was in the dining room when I heard Sarah calmly say, “a bird went upstairs.” Come again??!! What? I went upstairs and, sure enough, a small bird was in our bathroom. Luckily Carl was home and joined me to help steer and encourage the bird to go out of our double doors that lead to the upstairs deck. It was a short but exciting moment.
The other exciting thing from the week is that my new car, that we ordered a year and a half ago, arrived. Her name is Clare. She is a Volkswagen ID.4 so… I DeClare! I am getting a sticker that says, “Clare” that I can put over the “4” on the back of the car. The kids did a great job waiting patiently while we signed papers, and even had a snuggly fun play time on a chair together, so of course Carl and I simultaneously whipped out our phones to document the moment. It is a great picture and it helps me to see Sarah’s smiling face in the picture as we navigate the ever changing and ever frustrating health things for her, along with her whining and screaming.
Tomorrow, for the first time in my life, I have jury duty selection. Thanks to a friend’s suggestion, I am going in armed with a letter from the pediatrician saying I should be exempted. Carl is about to be away for 12 days for his big bike race and I have to be able to get Sarah from school at basically any time any day. I know this is technically true for any parent all the time, but with Sarah the current likelihood of me needing to get her is high. And all of my in-laws will be away at the same time as Carl and it’s not as if my sitter doesn’t also have a life and other commitments. I also have to be home at 2:30 daily to meet Sarah’s bus. So anyway, fingers crossed that I get exempted easily and early, because if it isn’t early it will throw tomorrow’s afternoon schedule into last minute cancellations and scrambling to make new arrangements for children.
Overall things have been feeling like a bit too much. Too much to figure out about how to help Sarah’s body, too much whining, too much mess, too much yelling. I catch myself being very critical of myself and feeling rotten and grumpy about everything. I’m trying to be gentle and turn that truck around. I do have an appointment with a therapist in October and this Tuesday I’m talking with Samahria, the original Son-Rise mom. Talking to my mom and friends and Carl also helps. But this stuff is hard. And I would like to have a morning that doesn’t start with a new health issue and or whining about a missing ring or a need for a book or item of clothing that we do not have. On the plus side, Amy’s morning bus is supposedly going to come 15 minutes earlier than it has been so maybe she will actually get to school on time. Fingers crossed.
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