When Sarah swims she rarely gets the full arm movement going and I often think it is helpful for a teacher to physically move her arms for her so she can get the feeling. So far her current teacher hasn’t done that and I haven’t yet suggested it. This past Monday the swim teacher was unavailable but we went to the pool anyway. I stayed near Sarah as she practiced swimming and attempted handstands. Amy enthusiastically came up with a cheer routine celebrating the Polar Bears, because Sarah likes to pretend she is a swimming polar bear. Amy also cheered for the Pandas, because Sarah always loves pandas. After many minutes I realized that I could hold onto the wall and do some kicks to get a little exercise myself and work my glutes, which is helpful from a PT perspective. Unexpectedly, Sarah immediately joined me. Then we stood and she let me move her arms in big arcs many times!! Amy and I cheered about how the panda was doing big reaches for bamboo. Sarah also talked about being a crocodile. She loved my deep and exuberant “Yayuh!” She let me coach her about letting her elbows be open and relaxed so her arms were straight. I felt like I was helping someone with an Alexander technique lesson, feeling what she was doing and guiding towards change – and she was open to it in a way she rarely is. This was the first time I have thought that when she finishes the regimen of pre-paid swim lessons we will stop with lessons and I will be her helper. This might sound so obvious, but usually she has resisted most input or guidance from me in the pool.
Amy’s friend group came over for a photo shoot to get a picture that Amy wanted to write about for a school assignment. It felt like a minor miracle to coordinate everyone on the same day and time with just a few days notice. Amy has had a lot of homework lately and still has some to do before the end of spring break. Since Sarah still has two more days of school before spring break, Amy’s goal is to finish her assignments by the time Sarah starts her vacation.
Sarah had her well-visit with the pediatrician and the experience felt more frustrating than usual. The last time we had seen this doctor was when Sarah was having all of her phlegm and acid reflux and vomiting and lack of appetite issues. So I understand and appreciate the follow-up questions about that. But, the doctor seemed focused on how Sarah hadn’t regained the weight she had lost during the troublesome months. I am not concerned at all. She is a healthy weight for her height and she eats regularly, easily, and healthily. I think the doctor was agreeing, but also made some comments about Sarah’s low weight. She is not quite 4’10” and she is done growing taller! So if she stays her current weight for her whole life that is fine. I don’t expect a higher weight just because she used to be 5 pounds heavier. It is possible that looking at her growth chart triggered past feelings from when she was very young and little and diagnosed as failure to thrive. I was also stressed at the appointment because it was scheduled for 10:15 but we weren’t even taken back to the room for half an hour. I had a client to see and normally would leave my house at 11:30. Instead we were walking away from the doctor’s office at 11:30! I had to get Sarah home, make her lunch, and then head to my office. It all worked, but was a closer shave than I normally experience. Lastly, on Friday I just didn’t feel like I had the mental and emotional ease around Sarah’s repetitions that I usually do. When she repeated with an upspeak the last few words of everything I said, I thought I would go out of my gourd. This is quite possibly because the day was overly packed and I was juggling too many things. It’s a good reminder that I need more breathing room so I can be kinder and more available to connect with Sarah, which is a better experience for both of us.
We got a new roof! It was very weird being in the attic to cover things with tarps (thanks to my parents and brother for suggesting coverage and to Carl’s dad for the extra tarps!) while hearing people walk right above me. As I watched the roofers throw shingles towards the sidewalk I said, “holy Sh*t!” with each bundle that flew past the window. A dumpster was parked in front of our house for 24 hours and we didn’t want to let that opportunity go to waste, so Carl and I spent hours clearing out old junk from our basement and adding it to the dumpster. There are two cellar spaces under our front porch and they are cleaner than they have ever been. I vacuumed to get rid of debris and bugs and cobwebs that had accumulated over the years and we realized that this was perhaps the first time in almost 12 years that the cellar had been vacuumed. As Carl said, from now on we will vacuum that space at least once every twelve years whether it needs it or not! It is lovely not to duck to avoid the hanging bug carcasses every time I go in the room. I also spent hours organizing the kid toy and art project supply area. Slowly, slowly our basement is becoming something I don’t want to scream about every time I go down there.
Carl also fixed our oven situation! You may recall that we got a new oven but it wouldn’t fit in our island because the island cut out was just a tiny bit too small. Carl called multiple places that specialized in cutting granite counters. None of them would do a home visit. I asked our carpenter but he didn’t want to worry about cracking our counter. So, borrowing tools from his dad, Carl took care of the situation himself. He made a tent out of plastic to contain the dust, used a diamond-sander with a vacuum attachment, and enlarged the island cut-out. Then he moved the oven almost single-handedly. He asked me to help but it was the sort of situation where I tried lifting and I was working hard but nothing was moving. It is so nice to have an oven in the right place again and to have our usual walking paths in the kitchen usable.
Yesterday Amy and I spent many hours cleaning her room so now you can actually see her dresser-top, she can work at her desk, and there isn’t an ever-growing pile of miscellaneous items on the floor. Carl had the helpful perspective that we want to consider how we want a space to be and what we want to do there rather than evaluating the usefulness of any given item. Because many items are useful! But that doesn’t mean they should stay in one’s desk, shelves, or house! I have parted with posters and doorstops that I have saved for years. I like them, but they have been unused in the basement and I don’t anticipate ever needing a doorstop or having space for said posters ever. So they have moved on to new homes thanks to the Facebook Buy Nothing Group.
Carl spent 2 1/2 hours vacuuming the attic yesterday to clear the debris from the roofing project! While he was finishing, Sarah decided to investigate. She immediately found my memory box for kid items and retrieved a pair of her outgrown snail pants. These are sized for an 18 month-old but she wore them as biker shorts for years until finally wearing out one pair entirely and outgrowing a replacement pair that I found. Last night she brought the snail pants downstairs and put them on. They looked like they fit but she took them off saying they didn’t. When I said it was time to brush her teeth and aligners but that she should first wash her hands because of being in the attic, she protested many times before running off angrily to wash her hands in such a way that sprays water all around the bathroom. I don’t understand why a request for hand-washing can sometimes lead to such a clash between us, but it didn’t make for the coziest bedtime connection. Writing this I can see that perhaps it was the snail pants not fitting that set the scene rather than the actual need for hand-washing.
Sarah loves looking through my book draft, and this morning she said she wanted to write an update at the same time I was writing. I gave her blank paper and I think she maybe copied some words from my draft. She wrote extremely legibly even if it doesn’t quite make sense, “Over the four years different we did keep Sarah Anat Baniel Lessons.” She added a picture of two smiley faces with legs and feet.
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