Last Sunday in the late afternoon, Amy and I dropped Sarah off for her overnight camp and then went to Amy’ camp for her drop-off. Sarah’s cabin was inside a larger building, air-conditioned, spacious, and had an abundance of storage. At Amy’s camp we had trouble finding her cabin at first because we didn’t know to park on the grass and there were no other cars to demonstrate that we could have. Then she was the last one to arrive in her cabin and it felt so hot and cramped and there was hardly any storage and no room for her trunk except under the bed, but no room to open it unless you hauled it to the middle of the room. I felt like a big oaf bumbling around as everyone watched us unpack. I was worried about how Amy was feeling and I was glad to escape.
When I was younger I had hard experiences with overnight camp and felt mightily homesick most of the time, so I was worried about how my girls would fare. I was worried that each would feel embarrassed by having their stupid trunk that I bought because I thought it would make camp feel exciting. I was worried I hadn’t given clear enough instructions regarding Sarah and dairy, and probably never quite did. I had said to limit it, but what does that really mean? What I mean is to basically do none but she can have small amounts. If she has too much she can get sick. Anyway, I kept anticipating a call and then trying not to anticipate a call, whether about sickness or something else. So I had big feelings and big worries about basically everything.
Monday morning Sarah did call with the help of her counselor. Sarah was very homesick and sad. I talked to her for a while and then she seemed to be feeling better enough to go back to camp activities. She told me she would see me Friday. Monday at 4:30 I got a call from an even sadder Sarah and the counselor said I needed to come get her. Her trunk was repacked and I brought her home. Luckily, she was able to switch to being a day camper.
On Tuesday I took her to camp in time for breakfast at 9 and told her I would be back at 4 since I had a meeting to attend until 3. The counselor had hoped I could get there at 2 but I was the one to have scheduled my meeting and I was to lead it, so I felt like it was important to try to make it happen. But, at 2pm I got a call saying I needed to come get Sarah because she was screaming and had thrown her shoes, which is her usual recourse when very upset. I ended the meeting abruptly and was with Sarah by 3. I decided to change the rest of my week so that I could just stay in the parking lot of the camp all day so Sarah would know she could leave at any moment.
Wednesday I told her I would come to her at 2, but that if she wanted to go earlier she could just ask her counselor to call me and I would be with her in two minutes. We talked about how her upset Tuesday was like Anger from Inside Out getting the headline, “Mom is not here!” and that is why she was so upset, but that she could say easily, “Can you please call my mom? I want to go home now” and wouldn’t have to get upset on Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday because I would be there. Since the camp was at best 35 minutes from home and 45 minutes in rush hour, or more if I wasn’t at home, staying at the camp gave me peace of mind too.
I found a nice coffee shop two minutes from the camp and also spent many hours in my car. Thursday she made it till 5pm and had a great time! They made her a schedule that just said “10am, 11am, 12pm, 1pm, 2pm” and they added on to it as it was going well. She loved crossing off the times and held her schedule to and from camp. With my parking lot time, I finished going through the First Pages of my book, meaning looking at the proposed layout for how it will actually look and noting any mistakes or things to change. I also read a novel from start to finish.
Friday involved extra driving because the only camp thing for Sarah was a rehearsal for the evening performance, but then an awkward amount of time between that and when we needed to get Amy from her camp. So, 45 minutes to camp for rehearsal, 35 minutes home after rehearsal, 90 minutes at home, then 60 minutes to get Amy, then 30 minutes back to Sarah’s camp! Good thing Sarah enjoys being in the car and I can listen to the B52s Cosmic album forever without minding the repetition. Anyway, Sarah’s camp concert was wonderful and she seemed to have fun doing some of the arm movements and singing some of the songs. She said she would miss camp and wants to go again.
In hindsight I think we should have started Sarah as a day camper. On the other hand, she did a whole night and most of a day thinking she was an overnight camper and that is amazing. And once she knew she wasn’t stuck there, she had a great time. We can probably sign her up for some weekend retreats, either as a day camper or overnight camper. The only thing I am not sure about is that the website says for the weekend retreats campers need to be able to self-regulate their emotions and behaviors. Clearly we aren’t quite there yet. But maybe they would allow it if I stayed on site in my car. I would be willing to do that as a support until Sarah felt ready to do it without me quite so close.
One night at home, Sarah and I had the excitement of getting notices on our phones that there was a tornado watch in our area and we were to go to the basement immediately. It wasn’t even raining or windy, so it felt hard to take it seriously, but we did go the basement just in case.
Meanwhile…. Amy LOVED camp!! She wasn’t homesick at all!! She wished she could have stayed for a second week! She has been teaching us cheers and games that she learned and she can imagine being a counselor when she is old enough.
Hindsight again… No trunks. Even though the camps had answered my question about trunks saying they would be a good idea, they weren’t. Firstly, the ones I ordered only had a handle on one end. They were wheeled, but when you needed to put them in a car it was difficult and awkward. They didn’t store well at the camps. And Amy’s is already falling apart. Also, I needed to have people write more information on any mail sent to the camps. There is still at least one letter sent to Sarah that she didn’t get. And she didn’t get my care package until Friday even though I know it was delivered to the camp on Wednesday. Also, because the camps said not to mail snacks, I didn’t. And I didn’t send Amy with any snacks to begin with, but it turned out that she was the only one in her cabin without snacks!! Luckily her bestie had enough to share.
Yesterday we celebrated Carl’s birthday by going to Open Streets, which is when Pittsburgh closes some roads to traffic so people can bike, skate, or walk on the main thoroughfares. Carl and Amy rode 6.66 miles including some serious hills! I walked next to Sarah as she pushed off the ground and balanced while gliding. It didn’t work to do pedaling practice until Carl was back with us to help her. But Sarah and I covered a lot of ground and I was very impressed with her. We finished with getting shaved ice from an iconic stand on the North Side. You can totally imagine the stand being hooked up to a horse 90 years ago when it started.
We had a great dinner at home with extended family. Amy shared the “Happy Birthday Potato” painting she made for Carl. Then Sarah started chanting a song she created at camp with the line, “Bear in a box.” Amy suggested that Sarah keep going with that while Amy added “Lora is a fox” because Lora was her village at camp and the mascot was a fox. They kept that going in rhythm and then Carl added “I love my socks.” Then Grandpa added, “This song rocks.” Now I knew that the song was growing and it would get to me as the last person to add a line! Oh no! What to add? The next lines added were “Sounds like some knocks” and “I fixed the locks.” I concluded with “Tic go the clocks.” It was so much fun and it was wonderful to build it all around something Sarah could do so well.
Next, Amy taught us the “Fortunately/Unfortunately” game where you go around the circle of people with each person adding a line to the story, but you have to take turns about whether you are starting you line with “fortunately…” or “unfortunately…” Amy started and a story evolved about cake and various disasters. Sarah was the last person to go and I wasn’t sure if she would catch on or add anything that made sense. She rocked it!! She brought it home with, “unfortunately the fox ate the cake.” We all cracked up and applauded and she was clearly pleased with herself. Carl pointed out how huge her participation was. It meant she was attending to everything as the story built. I love it when she is really part of a group and an activity.
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