I dedicate this update to chocolate zucchini bread…. It was a mom-saver for our recent trip when people were almost always eating things that Sarah couldn’t have. She rocked it, as usual, but I think it helped that I had some of her favorite foods available. I make a chocolate zucchini bread that is grain-free, refined-sugar-free, vegan, and super delicious.
The trip included seeing both sets of my parents, my brother, Carl’s cousin and her family, my sixth grade teacher and his family, and our college reunion. I used to babysit for my sixth grade teacher when I was in college and his sons were Amy’s age and newborn. Now they are all grown up! How does that happen? It was wonderful and challenging seeing so many people and being in so many new places. At the reunion, when I spoke with someone for 10 minutes that seemed like a long conversation and there were people that I didn’t get to talk with at all. We were in the same dorm we are always in for reunions and it is far from my favorite, but we were across the hall from some good friends who also have kids so that was awesome. There was an art installation on campus of long plastic strips (we called them curtains) hanging from a bar and the girls looooved playing there. I was grateful that it was there and that they loved it and I also hated that it was there because of the screaming that ensued any time we left it. We carried the girls all over creation, and I also always had a backpack with water, food, a potty seat, and back-up clothes. The girls got to run all over the beautiful campus and we also said “no” a ton, compared to how often we say it at home, which is still a lot. I felt like we had to shadow the girls much more than usual in all places and it was a relief to get home where I can let them be on their own more easily.
One night, Sarah stayed up late. When I finally got her back in bed, she put an arm over Amy and then gave Amy a kiss. Soooooo sweet!! Overall lately, whether at the reunion or with the cousins or at our block party or at a neighborhood birthday party, Sarah has seemed more present when she is around other kids. She still isms some but she also goes over to join kids in a frisbee game (or attempt to join) or to sit with a group of kids. She doesn’t bend her neck so she can look at kids’ feet upside down like she used to. We still have some ground to cover, but it is exciting to see her in a less overwhelmed/over-excited state.
Sarah has started answering questions with “um…” It is the cutest! It is also functional because it gives her more time to answer while signaling that she heard the question and is working on an answer.
With Carl’s cousin and her kids, one afternoon we were walking and some of them were singing the “who stole the cookie?” song. When someone said “Sarah stole the cookie from the cookie jar” she said, “Yes!” with a grin. Not the way the song goes, but so perfect.
At a rest stop, Carl was helping Sarah sound out “wet” on a sign and Sarah wasn’t quite getting it but then she said, “floor.” That was the next word but we hadn’t said it at all or even pointed to the word. We don’t know if somehow she miraculously read it or if she just remembered it from some past reference or deduced it from the context. I do know she has a phenomenal memory.
Sarah has started rehearsing for an open-mic at a Spoken Word event, or so it seems. She often belts out the alphabet in a loud, almost angry-sounding, speech. Hilarious.
Our trampoline has a bar so that you can hold on while you jump. Or, if you are a small child, you can use the bar to do a flip. Amy figured it out a couple of days ago and then Sarah got it last night. It is harder for Sarah because her legs are longer, but she got it. Watching the girls flip is amazing.
During a recent SR time with Sonia, Sarah played catch with small stuffed animals, including 2 Hello Kitty animals. She then initiated the game with Carl and with me, teaching us how to do it. One person holds both kitties and then throws them one after the other to the other person. Then the recipient takes a turn.
Sarah wrote a Father’s Day card that Carl could read! Those not familiar with her writing might not understand it, but Carl could. Amazing that Sarah is really learning to write. She also wished Carl a Happy Father’s Day.
Speaking of fathers, I am so grateful for the ever-present support and love I have received from my dad and stepdad. I have never doubted their love for me or their belief that I can do whatever I set out to do. That is not to be sneezed at. And I am so grateful to be sharing my parenting journey with Carl. I marvel at his beautifully creative, loving, attentive parenting on a daily basis. He inspires me to continue striving for my own relaxed creativity. On our recent trip I somehow forgot to pack any of my Relaxed Creativity and I felt like I was running on grumpy-stressed-anxious-empty for a lot of the time. Luckily, Carl had remembered his RC so we managed pretty well.
Speaking of running on grumpy-empty… it is amazing to me how differently I can feel at different times. There have been many recent moments where I felt completely incapable of getting from point A to point B, point A perhaps being the kids being in pajamas and point B being the kids dressed and ready to go. When the kids are willing then this is no problem, but when they are resistant and when I have no reserves then this felt impossible and I felt tearfully desperate. I wanted to hand in my resignation and just walk away from the whole thing. And then time passes and my thinking shifts… I read some of Raun’s book again and it was reminding me that it isn’t the situation causing my unhappiness but rather my thoughts about the situation. This is not new information, but it was a timely reminder. Over a breakfast date with Carl this morning I felt like I was able to shift into remembering how awesome the girls are and how amazing my life is. It is like moving through the curtain art at our college with how quickly things can shift. The hard moments were giving me more compassion for others who are mired in hurt grump; when I am mired it is really hard to function and see that things could be different. When I am free then I don’t see where the mud was to begin with. Thank goodness for other people to help me navigate through the muck and enjoy the freedom.
I hope you have all had an easy muck-free couple of weeks.
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