The veritable wringer. That is what I felt like I went through this week. And yet, with a bit more time to think about things, I also considered that maybe it was a week filled with blessings. Either way, it was still certainly an intensely full week. Despite my parenthetical care to whisper about my headaches, on Monday night, with the steroid well and truly done, my headaches started again with a doozy.
But Monday evening actually kicked into high gear before that. At the beginning of the school year Amy stood up to a “friend” who was bullying her, saying she wouldn’t continue to be friends if this kid continued to tease and be unkind. Things got better. And then they got worse. I hadn’t realized they were getting worse until this Monday night when Amy said how much she was dreading school these days and explained why. This other kid who is part of Amy’s friend group has been teasing Amy about all of who Amy is and physically pushes Amy around often. The tricky part is that because it is a group and there aren’t tons of open tables in the lunch room, Amy has felt trapped still eating lunch with her and being with her during recess and other times. Another “friend” in the group also teases Amy in agreement with the first non-friend, but at least doesn’t push and shove. I reached out to the parents of both kids immediately after Amy explained everything. I also emailed the principal and assistant principal. It was a hugely emotional evening for Amy and she opted to stay home Tuesday, with my full support. I also started Monday night on her floor to give her that emotional support.
Tuesday Sarah went on her way to school, I went to my audiobook recording session, Amy stayed home to work on homework and recuperate, and Carl went to work. Midway through my recording session I got a call from Sarah’s teacher that she was crying about her head and stomach hurting. I immediately went to get her and take her home. As soon as I got her she seemed to be in better shape. I tried to understand if her upset occurred during a certain school subject but I never was quite sure of the answers. As soon as Sarah was home she used the bathroom and then seemed completely fine. Which is wonderful! And confusing. I know we are still working on whatever is going on for her digestive system.
Tuesday night I began taking Topiramate, which is actually one of the drugs Sarah takes to help avoid seizures but happens to help stop cluster headaches in some people. So far so good for giving me a reprieve, but I can tell the beast is tamped down and would erupt if I stop taking the drugs. It maybe also made me feel weird for a few days. Or maybe it was the lack of sleep. Monday through Thursday I didn’t sleep much each night for varying reasons and I felt weirdly starving all day Tuesday. Maybe that was how I dealt with the bullying situation. Anyway, it was really great to finally sleep on Thursday and I have been sleeping normally since then. Tuesday night I again started on Amy’s floor because she was understandably quite nervous about going to school the next day.
Amy met with the assistant principal on Wednesday, and the seating in one class was changed so she isn’t next to the non-friend, but despite her hopes and attempts, she continued to have lunch at the same table! When she and her good friends tried switching to a different table, they got yelled at by the people who normally sat there. And when she was supposed to meet with the school counselor, the call for that meeting never came. So the gears for change are in motion but they are slow. It has been much harder and more emotional for me than I expected. Monday and Tuesday I felt like I handled everything well, but as soon as Amy left the house Wednesday I started crying hard. I wanted to be able to go with Amy to protect her and it was so hard to not be able to. I did send a message to a mom who has known her since kindergarten who works in the building where Amy is, just so she was aware of the situation. That helped my heart a little.
Wednesday night we celebrated Amy with tacos (her favorite) and chocolate cake, honoring her bravery for speaking up about the situation. It can take so much courage to say that how someone is treating you doesn’t feel right, especially when it upsets an apple cart of a social arrangement.
To keep the week really interesting, Wednesday night Sarah started getting sniffly. We thought it was because she spent more time than usual where there might have been extra cat fur, but by Thursday morning it was clear she was sick. By Thursday afternoon she tested positive for Covid and our weekend plans fell apart.
I mentioned considering that the week was filled with blessings. Maybe when I accidentally went to the wrong location for an appointment for Sarah Wednesday afternoon which then meant we had to reschedule it, maybe that actually saved someone from getting covid. And what a blessing that Amy spoke up about the bullying this early in the school year! What a blessing that Topiramate is helping my headaches at least even for this moment.
Lastly, Sarah has been all about Granddad for a long time. Here are our recent exchanges.
Sarah: Do you have any questions for me about Granddad?
Me: What books to you like to read with Granddad?
Sarah: All of them
Sarah: Do you have questions for me about Granddad?
Me: What is your favorite feature of Granddad’s face?
Sarah: His mustache
May you all read all of the books and speak up to all of the bullies.
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